Funniest Tweets From Twitter Users Who Don't Want to Call it X (October 8, 2023)

Advertisement
  • 01
    Font - dey mir.i.am @jewbyboobie Atheists be like thank science it's Friday 9:48 AM 2023-09-22 89.4K Views 294 Reposts 10 Quotes 2,747 Likes 19 Bookmarks ...
  • 02
    Font - retired football fan @hippieswordfish my goth girlfriend says loves me for who I am on the inside (a skeleton) 9:19 AM 2020-04-24 . 44 Reposts 197 Likes 3 Bookmarks
  • 03
    Font - stu @rinbcage "Everything's fine," the babysitter said into the phone. "But can I cover up the weird clown statue in your hallway?" "Get out of the house, I'm calling the police," the father urgently replied. "You have disrespected my clown statue and I hate you." 5:54 PM 2019-03-10 12.6K Reposts 185 Quotes 49.7K Likes 455 Bookmarks
  • 04
    Font - The DESIGN of EVERYDAY THINGS DON NORMAN sober october @longtermstuff Spirited Away 2001 ★★★★½ Watched December 29, 2020 Thought maybe Spongebob would be in this because he's a cartoon too but I still really enjoyed this 1:28 AM 2023-09-21 50.5K Views 299 Reposts 6 Quotes 2,992 Likes 49 Bookmarks
  • 05
    Food - skin destroyer @gloomingly would you sit here with me be honest 9:33 PM 2023-09-20 24K Views 101 Reposts 7 Quotes 851 Likes 37 Bookmarks ...
  • 06
    Font - topical malady @Boringstein "guy who sucks moved into my house" is an all time plotline in any genre 11:39 PM - 2023-09-20 86.4K Views 76 Reposts 47 Quotes 1,805 Likes 68 Bookmarks
  • 07
    Office equipment - DOT !!!, Birkin's Vials @T4TWeskin "Kill them with kindness" wrong. Rat attack 6:07 PM 2023-09-20 357K Views 7,803 Reposts 366 Quotes 24K Likes 523 Bookmarks
  • 08
    Font - pp @athleisure_monk scully: victim died of multiple stab wounds mulder: *throws her a file* ever heard of the knife alien 3:28 AM 2016-06-03 39.2K Reposts 1,000 Quotes 73.6K Likes 962 Bookmarks
  • 09
    Organism - Lukas Battle @lukasbattle Temperature dropped below 70 degrees and now something very academic is brewing inside me....something very dewy decimal system is trying to get out 11:42 AM 2023-09-21 472K Views 1,522 Reposts 59 Quotes 16.5K Likes 226 Bookmarks ...
  • 10
    Font - Owl! at the Library @SketchesbyBoze there's a sad boy in an Agatha Christie novel who tells his crush, “I didn't want to fall in love with you. I wanted to sit quietly and write my book. Such a nice book, all about how miserable the world is," and haven't we all felt that. 8:50 PM 2023-09-21 32K Views 180 Reposts 6 Quotes 1,539 Likes 77 Bookmarks
  • 11
    Cartoon - Elamin Abdelmahmoud @elamin88 Millennial humour is saying this out loud and having Gen Zs stare at you like you're a blight on this earth BUT I AM LE TIRED! THE NO 9:57 AM 2023-09-21 285K Views 928 Reposts 128 Quotes 5,808 Likes 132 Bookmarks
  • 12
    Food - Q @youcancallmeQ_ A glass pot is crazy give the food some privacy Mankhumiše @Ms_Logical 9h See how you cook Spaghetti! twitter.com/ ms_logical/sta... 7:05 AM 2023-09-22 from Earth 1.4M Views 7,407 Reposts 184 Quotes 46.1K Likes 737 Bookmarks Icc
  • 13
    Font - roro, PhD @fuglibetty you see, an ugly foot is a source of pride, for it tells the story of a woman who lived. your pretty, dainty feet walk on silk in the turrets of your castle, and they lack substance- cracked heels have walked. weird toes have been shoved into a cute shoe too-small. that's a life 1:51 AM 2023-09-22 14.4K Views 42 Reposts 3 Quotes 387 Likes 9 Bookmarks
  • 14
    Font - potato bun @erewhonsmoothie I never stop thinking about this SadeVEVO @fillegrossiere literacy is a prison. once u learn to read u can't just stop doing it. if u see words ur gonna read them. i hate that. oppressive 6:50 AM 11/15/20 from Earth 6:04 PM 2023-09-22 25.7K Views 86 Reposts 7 Quotes 1,053 Likes 23 Bookmarks
  • 15
    Font - clare @sadderlizards i just need to get over everything that has happened to me in my entire life and then we can hang out 10:13 PM 2023-09-22 334K Views 3,752 Reposts 107 Quotes 13.7K Likes 579 Bookmarks
  • 16
    Font - Jay @KakapoJay Why is Savannah the only acceptable biome name to give a person? Where are all the kids named Palustrine Wetlands?? Xeric shrubland?? smh 8:00 AM 2023-09-23 97.6K Views 347 Reposts 88 Quotes 2,344 Likes 36 Bookmarks
  • 17
    Font - Quinn Sutherland @ReelQuinn I wear a ski mask to bed so if there's a home invasion the intruder will think I'm part of the team. 12:04 PM 2013-05-28 3,686 Reposts 38 Quotes 9,280 Likes 16 Bookmarks
  • 18
    Organism - Frasier D&D @FrasierDnD FRASIER: "The orcs raise their axes high and demand blood." NILES: "... I tell them I'm not here." FRASIER: "I'm sorry?" NILES: "I argue that, philosophically, they cannot trust their own senses about me." FRASIER: "It's a bit bold to place Descartes before the orcs, Niles." 1:38 AM 2023-09-24 243K Views . . 1,614 Reposts 55 Quotes 10.7K Likes 392 Bookmarks
  • 19
    Organism - bbbbb bbbbb @brnbne What if you went to ET's planet and all of the other ET's were wearing clothes 12:07 AM 2023-09-24. 250K Views . 985 Reposts 41 Quotes 8,512 Likes 140 Bookmarks
  • 20
    Font - carter hambley @carterhambley hey we're calling off the search party. we found a different guy out there we like more 10:41 PM - 2023-09-24 280K Views 1,130 Reposts 35 Quotes 10.2K Likes 144 Bookmarks
  • 21
    Font - Amber Sparks @ambernoelle I told the 8 year old that Taylor Swift is apparently dating a football player and she goes "oh man, she's gonna write a breakup song about how he was just playing games" 11:44 PM 2023-09-24 49.3K Views ... 97 Reposts 12 Quotes 2,074 Likes 18 Bookmarks
  • 22
    Organism - $lap: @slvppy babe i don't post you cause stories last 24 hours and we forever 10:36 PM-2023-09-24 212K Views 1,085 Reposts 43 Quotes 5,303 Likes 270 Bookmarks
  • 23
    Organism - ari E @aririhz i used to think it was my fault that ppl treated me badly because i didn't speak up but why am i being treated badly in the first place? 4:19 PM 2023-09-24 330K Views 1,568 Reposts 135 Quotes 7,718 Likes 641 Bookmarks
  • 24
    Font - DELEFONA WILDLIFE CONSERVATION Oklahoma Department of Wildlife... @OKWildlife Dept no one remembers the weird thing you said at a party, they're thinking about how fall migration means there'll be moment when the last Scissor-tailed Flycatcher leaves the state - not everything is about you bro 11:02 AM 2023-09-25 54.2K Views . 235 Reposts 14 Quotes 2,234 Likes 11 Bookmarks
  • 25
    Font - Darkness Lord @sabatonfan69 If you ever saw a picture of a knight and thought "cool knight!” I'm gonna need you to take a step back & check your privilege. Knights were armored thugs who withheld the status quo by serving lords & killing peasants. And the swords they carry? Yup. They're used to cut people. 2:22 PM 2023-09-25 46.1K Views 119 Reposts 7 Quotes 1,430 Likes 24 Bookmarks
  • 26
    Font - sarah hagi @Kinda Hagi when my dentist gave me laughing gas for the first time i was so high i spent the appt thinking of how to impress her. the best i could come up with was asking her "do you see me as just a mouth and teeth or ami a person to you?" i was like this is so deep she's gonna freak 10:42 PM 2023-09-25 427K Views 986 Reposts 77 Quotes 24.1K Likes 545 Bookmarks
  • 27
    Organism - Emma Rose Ryan - MLIS @EmmaRoseWriter Kindergartener passing me in the hallway: "HI LIBRARY!" I am become library, giver of books. 4:41 PM 2023-09-25 75.7K Views 326 Reposts 11 Quotes 4,457 Likes 32 Bookmarks
  • 28
    Font - Felicity @FlossAus Everyone wants the rom-com book between Taylor & Travis. I want the romance between the agent/manager of the global pop star in the middle of world tour, who's life is suddenly smashed together with the footballer's agent/ manager as they're forced to coordinate time for the stars 6:06 PM 2023-09-25 1.2M Views 1,929 Reposts 423 Quotes 35.8K Likes 1,192 Bookmarks
  • 29
    Organism - mariana Z @mariana057 Where do bad rainbows go? To prism. It's a light sentence, but it gives them time to reflect. 2:44 PM 2023-09-25 48.4K Views 364 Reposts 18 Quotes 2,794 Likes 50 Bookmarks
  • 30
    Ecoregion - we can make the Grand Line real. we can be a country again. with pirates bfa agonistes @superloafcat. 18h they should build a big river across America so you can go across it by boat. Building it would create a lot of jobs too Pacific Ocean California COSMIC SLOP @afrocosmist C C Idaho UN Arizona Montana United States Cabre Sas New Mexico Cheyenne A Mexico ww Texas South Dak Nebraska M y seped 457 Reposts 4 Quotes Pas Papa Che Canada 3,269 Likes 34 Bookmarks Rated 1:18 PM 2023-09-26
  • 31
    Vertebrate - whip @whipaf im corny by choice yall were born on the cob 7:39 PM 2023-09-25 187K Views 1,852 Reposts 49 Quotes 7,763 Likes 317 Bookmarks
  • 32
    Font - H✩TGIRL @mainbitchclique he ate this right on up You the balloons I walk with You a clown 7:43 PM - 2023-09-26 2.8M Views 13.5K Reposts 2,602 Quotes 97.2K Likes 3,939 Bookmarks Delivered
  • 33
    Font - Janel Comeau @VeryBadLlama hey sorry I missed your text, I am processing a non-stop 24/7 onslaught of information with a brain designed to eat berries in a cave 11:33 PM-2023-09-26 72.3K Views 953 Reposts 16 Quotes 3,853 Likes 101 Bookmarks
  • 34
    Font - @turtlekiosk "he cooked"... "she ate"... who is doing the dishes... 3:27 PM 2023-09-27 40K Views 158 Reposts 22 Quotes 1,412 Likes 12 Bookmarks ...
  • 35
    Font - @nauseahassan 'too much garlic' what's next? too much desire? too much love? 1:34 PM-2023-09-27 66K Views 1,130 Reposts 19 Quotes 3,892 Likes 51 Bookmarks
  • 36
    Font - andrew @AndrewChamings [shark tank] me: ridiculously wide sunglasses shark 1: i'm out shark 2: i'm out hammerhead shark: i'm listening 1:34 PM 2017-09-01 24.1K Reposts 390 Quotes 90.4K Likes 107 Bookmarks
  • 37
    Font - 88² 88 @babymetalllll in October the mitochondria turns into the frightochondria & becomes the haunted house of the cell 2:51 PM 2018-10-17 56.7K Reposts 662 Quotes 150K Likes 906 Bookmarks

Tags

Scroll Down For The Next Article